Puttin me down

Putting me down won't make me think better of you. You suppose to bring me up and raise my spirits. I hate when I'm feeling bad you make me feel worse. Why do I even try to try. I love you with all my heart but things you say crushes it. I thought in a relationship if someone is sad and not feeling right the other person is suppose to make sure they ok. If I feel a certain way, you aren't doing nothing to make me see different. When I am wrong I admit my faults. When I broke your heart I did everything in my power to fix it. I pray everyday for us. I do love u with every piece of my soul but I can't take your hurt. If u can't speak to me with a heart I don't want to hear it. I deserve the best. I guess its my bad for thinking you are the best.
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What Am I

Am I crazy for thinking the way that I do. Am I crazy for wanting unconditional love.

Am I seeing things that aren't true. Am I seeing things that I'm only thinking of.

Am I making things up that aren't happening. Am I making things up to make people mad.

Am I stupid because I let things keep going. Am I stupid because I let myself be sad.

I really don't know what I am. I really don't have no one to tell me who I am.

I am lost
I am sad
I am depressed
I am alone
I am nothing....
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Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I Want To Be Surprised

I want to be surprised:

with flowers at my job.

with dinner and a movie out of nowhere.

with a gift just because.

with a spa day.

with a massage.

with not having to treat.

with a card that says how u feel.

with somethin out of the ordinary.

with a adventure.

just to be surprised.

I would be so happy to get somethin out of the blue for no reason that would be a surprise but for me surprises never happen.
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Found out the worse news

Last night as I sit and watch tv I get a text. This text was something I didn't like see nor could imagine how it felt to type. When I read those words I was so hurt and felt pain in my heart. I hated that what I was reading wasn't a dream. I wanted it to be not real. My friend had to have surgery to get her tube and her unborn removed. I can not express the pain I feel for her nor can I know what she is going through. I am so happy that she is still alive but I don't every like for women to have to loose their child. Unborn, born, young, or old I hat to here a mother has lost a child. I pray everyday that I don't have to go through that pain in my life. And I also know that I don't have any problems that some else can't beat. I really believe that no one hurts more then the next. We all hurt the same but in different ways. I pray for my friend and her family because it is a trying time for them all. Me knowing that everything has a purpose helps me through so I hope everyone look at the bigger picture and know its ok.

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need to write

i wanted this to be something i did every day but i have neglected to do so. i have no taken the time to sit and think of things to write. i wanted to do a up date on my thoughts and feelings daily but like a lot of my plan sometimes they don get accomplished. well i have been not really doing much but spending time with my daughter. my hubby has had shows like every night and i rairly get to spend time but it is ok, cuz one day we will have nothing but time to spend together. there will be a time when i wont have to work any more and he will become a super star. i will be able to do the things i enjoy and he will be pursuing his dream. hard work pays over and over in the long run so if any one cares to read my words know that if you feel down or tired just hang on in there and everything will get better. well those are my words for the day. peace out all...

stuff i like

kind of movies i like

• love stories
• mysteries
• science fiction
• 3D
• dance
• comedies
• concerts

kinds of music i like

• freestyle
• gospel
• r&b
• pop
• techno
• rap
• disco
• oldies
• anything i can dance to
  

kinds of things i like to do

• dance
• listen to music
• going to the show
• bowling
• miniature golf
• amusement parks
• arcades
• go on vacations
• hang with friends
• eat

when people / when i

when people try to give me bad advise

when they think they have swayed my mind and i do the opposite

when people treat me dumb and stupid

when people think i'm dumb and stupid and i show them wrong

when people try to take advantage of me

when they think they got me they figure out i got them first

when people don't appreciate what i do

when i do extra nice things and their left feelin bad

when people push me away

when they push i come stronger or make want me back

when people hurt me

when they think i'm hurt laugh either to myself or in their face

when people try to set me up

when they think i will get it i get praised

when people do them

when i do me

things i do to free my mind

i listen to music to make me feel good or to get inspired.

i dance to exercise, feel free, be in my own little world,express myself, or let go of pain and hurt.

i write to release hurt, release pain, get out thoughts, or to just have fun.

i take rides to get away for awhile, hit blocks, go cruising, or to go somewhere to shop.

i shop to fill a void, get stuff i don't need, or to get stuff for others.

i make things to fill time, change what is on my mind, or to be creative.

i get silent or talk under my breath so i don't hurt others, so i don't hurt myself, release my pissed-off-ness, or to brush stuff off.

i read to occupy time, to drift away for awhile, to get answers, to feel better, or to get smarter.

i pray to feel better, to get closer to Yahuah and Yahusha, to release pain, to release anger, to heal myself, for faith, or to get on the right path.

Smile A Little

Smile a little its ok,
Smile a little happy is on the way.
Smile a little and be strong,
Smile a little and u won't be wrong.
Smile a little the day is bright,
Smile a little everything is going to be all right.
Smile a little to give back,
Smile a little frowning is wack.
Smile a little Ill smile too,
Smile a little cuz someone loves you.
Smile a little you live another day,
Smile a little your perfect in every way.
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Went to a surprise baby shower

I had a lot of fun. When I got there no one was there yet but that's how it always is. Every time I go to my bff's parties they never on time. Lol. But its ok cuz I'm always runnin late. It was my bff's sis shower. She was surprised and happy even though she told them she didn't want a shower. I like to party so I would never turn down a shindig. Get togethers are great. Well that's what I did.
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Ro had a show today

I went to my hubby's show today. He did a great job. I really feel that something good is in store for us.
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Krissy Poo

Look at the sneaky baby, her sooo cute
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Dont Feel Like Sleeping

i don't feel like sleeping,
i don't feel like laying down,
i don't feel like dreaming,
i don't feel like being sound,
i don't feel like resting,
i don't feel like sleep is the best thing.

Time To Try Something New

Today I decide I want to start a blog. I have been wanting to start writing poems again since I stoped a little after high school. I also wanted to do like a diary thing to where I put down some stuff that I do.